Feminists’ Movement and its Effects on Dating Views by Men and Women
The feminist movement has changed the society’s set up by empowering women and promoting the idea that they could be equal to men. This aspect has resulted in men feeling as if their roles in the society are being undermined. Initially, women played the subordinate roles to the men in the society with the men initiating relationships that would eventually result in marriage. However, as a result of the feminist movement, this set up has been disrupted. Women now feel entitled to pursuing men that they like with the hope of starting off a relationship on their own terms (Swami, 2016). Men on the other hand have taken a back sit and prefer to let women take care of themselves to a point where today, it is not uncommon to see a woman paying for a meal while the man looks on. Dating has changed a great deal with women being braver in their sexual choices and redefined morality standards.
Feminists have for a long time been considered as activists fighting for the rights of women in patriarchal societies. In dating today, the women have more freedom and stronger will to express themselves as opposed to a few decades ago where women were second class citizens in the eyes of feminists. Feminists find it difficult to get into relationships because men fear the ferocity with which the women have taken control of their lives. (Gregg, 2014) According to the feminists’ movement, the women taking charge is a positive thing. Men of older generations find it fascinating that a woman today can decide to pursue a man and ask strike up a relationship. The feminists have redefined what is right and wrong in a relationship. Feminists have now made dating more complicated in the eyes of the society because they seem to have demands that cannot be compromised. Feminists being champions for women’s rights can sometimes come out as annoying when the men feel that they are being treated as less important people. Feminism was intended to bring equality in the society. Equality would mean that in dating it would not matter who had more money than the other.
Feminism in dating is becoming a sore spot for both men and women. Feminist women feel insulted when men question their level of independence. Extreme feminism in women is likely to fuel spite for men. This is manifested in an instance where a man asks a woman out on a date and the woman accepts but takes the opportunity to show the man how much better than him she is. This is the wrong approach many feminists take (Daily Mail Online, 2008). Feminism should be about fighting against domestic violence on women and women being treated poorly by men for being female. When it takes a turn and women try on all levels to prove to men that they are better, it beats the logic of activism. The idea of feminist activism is supposed to be based on the idea that women should be respectable members of the society even when it is dominated by men. Gradually, feminism is supposed to ensure that men value women as members of the society and not see them as second class citizens. However, there are extreme feminists that have taken advantage of the movement to promote their ideas fuelling hate for men (Daily Mail Online, 2008). This means that the image men have of feminists today is an image where the men feel all feminist women are out to undermine the position of men in the society.
Feminism in dating has changed many things among them, men being considered as providers in the society. The fact that today women make as much money as men has given women more confidence. Previously, men took charge of situations because they earned more money, had more voice in the societies and the fact that men ruled the society, women had no chance. Extreme feminists have made it difficult for men to trust any strong women. When they treat men as lesser humans, they create enemity between the men and the women in general. (K, 2017) In dating, this is a major issue because at the end of the day, women drive themselves back to their houses as opposed to when the men would drive them home. Women have preferences that they can easily afford, this means that a man taking a woman to an expensive place for dinner is no longer something big, they are used to going to those places on their own. (LaFta, 2016) Men find that with feminism, they have to do more to earn the respect and recognition of women.
The feminist movement today means that women have taken up responsibilities that were formally a preserve of the men and men have to accommodate the new changes. For men, without having anticipated the rise of feminism, it will take them time to realize that women no longer want money from men. Feminists insist on being independent and paying their bills. However, there are feminists who feel that even what men possess, they do not deserve. These are the feminists who spread the narrative of spiting men. They are the type who will spend a man’s money as they date while their own money is out of reach for the men. They make men suffer for problems that other men caused their mothers’ generations before them.
Feminism in dating has allowed men to relax and let the women feel and be in control. Men have resorted to agreeing with everything the women they are eyeing says. This means that even when the woman demands that they live a certain lifestyle, he agrees as long as the woman can afford it. Women have turned the feminist movement into an excuse for showing men that they have the ability to pay for bills and take care of themselves without the help of a man. Today, women can freely pay for meals in restaurants and the men are forced to be comfortable with that (Swami, 2016). Previously, a man would be greatly offended by a woman paying their bills but today, roles have changed. All this is owed to the rise and popularization of feminism. The ability of women to take charge of their lives means that the men today can be disregarded by the women in the society, which is very wrong. It is important that feminists realize the need to accommodate and coexist with men for the society to appreciate their presence.
Feminism has changed the definition of dating and general how women live today. There is no longer need for a woman to get approval by their father to get married to the man of their choice. They can now choose who they want to date as opposed to a couple of decades ago where the women remained under the care of their fathers until they got married. Women had no freedom to meet many different men before they chose who they wished to be married to, today the case is different (Daily Mail Online, 2008). Parents do not have the choice or chance to choose spouses for their daughters. Men have to work hard to earn the trust, respect and recognition of a feminist woman. The women who are not proclaimed feminists now have a choice of also picking their spouses as a spill over effect.
In conclusions, feminism has earned women better status in the society. Women have better opportunities at choosing who they get married to and who they meet in their lives. Women now earn better wages, attend better schools and have freedom to live as they please. This is a major factor in dating because women no longer depend on the success of the men they will marry to enjoy success. This means that today in dating, both men and women have level playing ground. Education, money and status for women means that men no longer have an upper hand when it comes to the men and women dating. Feminism may have presented men with more problems than they had before in the instances where women take feminism as a front to spite the men. Dating had changed significantly with feminism empowering women to be more in control of their terms in dating and lifestyles and men no longer have the advantage of having better financial, academic and intellectual status compared to the men.
Daily Mail Online. (2008, February 05). Feminism has turned men into second-class citizens, but have women’s victories come at a price? Retrieved from Daily Mail Online: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articcle-512550/Feminism-turned-men-second-class-citizens-womens-victories-come-prices.html
Gregg, L. (2014, May 28). Dating as a Feminist is Hard. Retrieved from Thought Catalog: https://thoughtcatalog.com/linnea-gregg/2014/05/dating-as-a-female-is-hard/
K, M. (2017, November 21). Before you Date a Feminst. Retrieved from Parents: https://parentsafrica.com/before-you-date-a-feminist/
LaFta, A. (2016, March 2). How to Date Like a Feminist, as Told by a Feminist. Retrieved from Elite Daily: https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/date-like-a-feminist/1404977
Swami, V. (2016, December 1). Is Feminism Killing Romance? Retrieved from The Conversation: theconversation.com/is-feminist-killing-romance-69676
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