Since my early childhood I was a kid without confidence and would want to occupy the lowest places in any public or family get together, I had believed and looked at myself as a failure, a stammer, one who is not worth of any good things in life.
I would appreciate other children and admire the way they looked and played their performances in school and their ability to express themselves fluently. I was my parents only child and taken longer that usual to learn how to talk and even after I learnt how to talk I would stammer.
My stammering made life impossible for me for I chose to be silent most of the times than talk and get embarrassed; my mother had tried to show me that it was okay but I would hear none of her consolations. I infact hated myself; I always avoided seeing my image at the mirror, for I always saw a failure.
My life became so hard and I started contemplating on how I would drop out of school, this was at the age of 9. My worst moments in school would when our teacher could ask us to read in class a person at time a paragraph from a text.
I could try to open my mouth but before the first word got out I would be shaking with fear and shame. I came up with a plan that any day I knew we would have those lessons in class I would wake up and start crying before leaving my bed so that my mother would think I am sick, and I would end up going to school late or missing the whole day.
My doctor must have noted this trait and one day when I was taken to him as I had claimed to have a headache, he examined me and then told my mother to excuse us and this become my turning point!
He took so much time with me and I just found myself opening up to him but with a lot of crying, I had never shared my fears and attitude to any one not even my mother.
He held me and talked to me, he assured me that the situation would go if only I was willing to start having a different look at things, he gave a magazine and asked me read aloud, I tried but still…., he encouraged me, he gave me the opportunity to repeat the hard words, he made me believe I could do it, that I could do better, that the power of change was right within me, that he had handled cases more complicated than mine and was successful because the victims were ready for a change.
He gave me a mirror and asked me to tell myself that I am the best, the cutest, that I will reach the highest possible there is. Honestly by the time I was leaving the room I was smiling to myself, I could look at my image and notice the beautiful eyes, smile and see the white well arranged teeth! I could not believe it.
Although he talked to my Mother and they agreed that I should be going to him so that he can see if am improving once every week, he made my whole life change.
I become interested in reading any material that came my way, trying to pronounce those hard and long looking words, tried to say a word which someone on the television would pronounce with a little more effort, when I went wrong I could simply smile and get to the mirror and assure myself that next time I will say it well.
I started performing so well in school and I couldn’t believe it, I started mixing well with other children, I stopped comparing myself with any one, I had understood and believed that I am uniquely me. I have come to know that I would have hindered my talent in English and Literature from growing because as it is this is my best area.
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